KIDS ARE ALRIGHT

sometimes I think that when I was younger I got tricked into not wanting to have kids by the secret society of people who knew how incredibly awesome it is to actually have them. it took me some years to “be ready”. and “sometimes I can’t help but wonder” (said with the voice of the most famous NYC single girl, Carrie Bradshow) – how would it be to have my first child 5-10 years ago?

think about it: our modern mentality is not exactly kids-friendly. since young age you hear from everyone, including your own parents, that having kids equals the end of your life (we all heard that, did’t we?) which literally means the end of your romantic & social life, career, good looks, etc, etc. basically, just The End (but not the happy one, like in Hollywood movies) another major scarecrow on this field is the Cost (with capital “C”, of course) of having the baby, which is always used as the last argument against having an offspring, and it always works if nothing else did. there are lots of other minor pitfalls being mentioned, from all the horrors of pregnancy (“your body will never look the same!”, “imagine the morning sickness, ugh..”, “you will look like a whale and would never want to have sex again”) and labor (women are taught to think they can’t do it on their own anymore – which is another big subject that deserves a separate conversation) to the inconvenience of living with a little human being (sleepless nights, endless feedings and diapers changing, postpartum depression, to name a few). I don’t know about you, but i heard it all, and i believed it all, and very carefully considered, but somehow my instincts and my body were telling me otherwise. thanks to the latter, I have a beautiful 3 month old snoring softly next to me while I write this, and this is what I have to say about the experience of having a child so far: it’s not so bad. it’s actually awesome and very different from anything you could imagine.

disclaimer: if you had lots of difficulties to get pregnant, if pregnancy itself was rough and labor is something you can’t think about without a cold sweat, or if you are a sleep-deprived, stressed-out mom of a fussy newborn, frustrated about breastfeeding, please stop reading here. i don’t want to stress or frustrate anyone with my experience. but if you are one of those being “warned” by well-meaning know-it-all souls and having doubts of Hamletian type – to have or not to have a baby – please read on. for those of you i will repeat and elaborate: having a child (with all what it implies) is not so bad after all and many of the “warnings” could actually NOT come to life.

imagine if you could have an easy, so-called uneventful pregnancy which you might even enjoy? (like i did) and labor that might be just one must-have experience in life when you live through something so powerful and so special that it would blow your mind away, and leave you changed forever. your baby might turn out to be a miracle baby, and latch as a pro, sleep through the night, and smile 90% of the time. (true story, happened to me!) but even if it doesn’t turn out to be that easy at all times, just remember the wise saying on king Solomon’s ring: “this too shall pass”, and it will pass so quickly. 9 months of pregnancy, 24 hours of labor, first couple sleepless months – time flies and everything changes, tomorrow you won’t even remember, and you might even miss it. so cherish every moment, good and bad, and focus on the good – the fast tiny heartbeat you hear during sonogram appointments, little kicks in your belly, sweet husky cry of your newborn, that first touch of the incredibly soft warm skin, his smell, his eyes when he sees you for the first time, and his first smile – one of so many more to come. these all makes it worth it, so carpe diem! motherhood is an incredible place to be and to explore.

of course, noone’s experience is every the same, even your own. so lingering on my question – how would it be to have my first child 5-10 years ago – I think I know the answer: it would be very different, and most probably I wouldn’t write the same words about it now. but if I could give an advice to myself 5-10 years ago, I would say – don’t be afraid of it and don’t listen to anybody; listen to yourself and your body and don’t wait to be ready – GET ready! And pssst, to top it off with a little secret just for you: there is so much happiness ahead, it will blow your mind.